Isn’t It Okay To Be Child-Free?

The bride and groom sign the book after their ...

The bride and groom sign the book after their wedding ceremony is complete. (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

I’ve been following posts on another blog about child-free weddings and I have to tell you . . . I don’t understand most people.

Let me explain.  The initial discussion was whether banning children from weddings was offensive to them and their parents.  Nothing too shocking to me or too novel.

I am amazed how many people take serious offense at children not being welcome at a wedding and who claim they will simply not attend if they cannot bring their child(ren).  Really?

First – – and most importantly in my book – – the wedding is THE BRIDE AND GROOM’S DAY.  It’s not about the guests.  It’s not about how much fun you and your kid(s) might have.  It’s about what kind of day the bride and groom wish to have.  They may wish to have a martini bar wedding. Hardly appropriate for children.  They may want to keep costs down and the best way to do so is to keep your guest list down.  Or maybe they just don’t care for children and don’t want them at their wedding.  That’s okay.  Again, it’s THEIR DAY.  It’s no personal attack against anyone and their children.  Why boycott them and their wedding because they made a choice you personally wouldn’t make?  I wouldn’t choose to get married in a drive-thru in Vegas but if a friend or relative asked me to be there, I would.

Secondly, many people are stating that a wedding symbolizes the beginning of a family and children are family (or something to that effect).  I do think a wedding symbolizes a beginning and a unity of two people.  Sometimes children are already involved, sometimes not.  But I don’t think everyone equates family with children.  What about people who can’t have children?  What about people who make the choice not to have children?  Does that mean they aren’t a family?  Should they not be married by this logic?

Third of all, some people just don’t want to deal with the hassle of children at their wedding.  Children fuss.  They cry.  They make noise.  They can be disruptive.  Not everyone finds that cute or endearing.  Brides want their day to be perfect and for most, a crying/fussy/disruptive child doesn’t fit into that picture.

I think people have the right to have their wedding the way they want it, without worrying about offending someone’s delicate sensibilities because they get a stick up their ass about the world not wanting to invite their child everywhere.  So what?  Is the child going to be scarred for life because he or she couldn’t attend the wedding of someone they probably don’t even know?  Frankly, if a friend or relative had refused to come to my wedding because I requested no children, I would think that wasn’t a very understanding friend or a close relative.

Personally, I find brides who bestow their wedding parties with drill-sergeant like instructions and demands (see Bridezillas) far more offensive than those who wish to have an adults-only event.

What are your thoughts?

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2 thoughts on “Isn’t It Okay To Be Child-Free?

  1. Thanks for linking to me, Lori. I don’t feel like repeating stuff I’ve already said; suffice it to say, my post did not address the question of whether or not it’s “okay” to be child-free. (My personal opinion: I don’t care.) However, may I suggest this entry as an answer to a lot of the questions you raise.

    Take care.

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